The Great Equalizer
On New Year’s Eve, my husband and I did what we’ve done every year since we became a couple. We went to the free skating session at the local ice rink.
Before a half-hour passed, the arena filled up with every age group and stage of life—grandparents watching their grandchildren from the stands, parents teaching their three-year-olds to skate, couples holding hands, teenage girls wearing less clothing than they needed to stay warm, and teenage boys dropping clumps of snow down the teenage girls’ backs.
Ice skating is one of life’s greatest equalizers.
Once you’re on the ice, no one cares if you’re like me, wearing skates you’ve had since you were 13, or if you’re like my husband, who used his Christmas money from my grandpa to buy his first pair of skates that afternoon.
No one cares if you’re a figure skater or hockey player, or if you’re like the woman we sat next to while lacing our skates who was getting on the ice for the first time in 23 years.
No one cares about the color of your skin or whether you’re rich or poor. Everyone is fighting the same battle to stay on their feet on the ice.
Even though my husband and I grew up in completely different worlds, ice skating is something we can share. I tell him about how I learned to skate on the rough ice of the river not far from my parents’ house, and about the ice rink my dad built in the field behind his work shed so my brother could practice his hockey moves. He tells me about the year-round rinks in Washington, DC, and we reminisce about the outdoor rinks surrounded by Christmas lights we’ve gone to together.
On the ice rink, parts of our lives that were separate come together. We have a history together before we ever met.
When we talk about equalizers, things that cut across all humanity, we usually focus on the big things—death, marriage, birth. But we don’t have any control over those big things. Not really. We do have control over the smaller ones and how often we seek them out.
I know ice skating won’t change the world, but it gives us one of those moments when we remember that all people are equal and valuable and that, if we look hard enough, we all have things in common. And maybe if we seek out more of those little equalizers, we’ll start to find that the gaps that divide us start to look a little bit smaller too.
Do you have a favorite ice skating memory? What other little equalizers have you come across?
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Louise Behiel says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 8:45am
lovely images and a wonderful tradition. My husband and I used to take our kids skating on christmas day. eventually all my family joined us and some friends. It was a wonderful tradition – which stopped as our children got older.
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 8:27pm
How lovely that you got to go on Christmas Day
Perhaps one day in the future you’ll have grandchildren that you can take again and start the tradition with a new generation.
Jennifer L. Oliver says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 9:43am
The last time I went ice skating was when I took my girls for one of their birthdays. My oldest took to the ice like she was a part of it while my youngest and I held hands prayed for balance. But it was a wonderful experience and we all had fun.
I think its great that you and your husband have this tradition. And it makes me want to go out and find an ice rink, though I’m pretty sure Florida doesn’t have any outside. Too bad, one surrounded by decorated palm trees would have been cute! lol!
Thanks for sharing this Marcy!
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 8:36pm
It’s too bad they couldn’t create a skating rink surrounded by palm trees. That’d be such a fun combination of something that’s only found in the heat with something that’s only found in the cold
August McLaughlin says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 10:24am
Such a lovely tradition, Marcy! The one time my hubby and I attempted ice skating, he landed on his butt and I, at a table in the coffee shop with my laptop. LOL Grace on those tiny blades isn’t as easy as it looks!
I do have some fond and funny memories of ice skating as a kid, however. (Seemed easy then!) My favorite was skating around Como Park with my siblings, where we could see plant life and fish through the clear ice.
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 8:40pm
Skating seems easier for kids overall. My theory is that it’s their lower center of gravity. Makes them more stable
Lisa Hall-Wilson says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 10:35am
This was a New Year’s eve tradition in the small town I grew up in also. The arena is the great meeting place in small town Canada, I think. I used to marvel at the seniors who would glide around the rink, each stroke of the blade in perfect unison. They would skate hand in hand, his arm around her should she stumble or fall – just like in the old Hollywood movies, straight and graceful and fluid. I asked one couple how they could do that. The old man smiled and shrugged, “Been skating like that for fifty years.”
Skating is also an equalizer between generations, I think.
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 8:45pm
I guess there’s not much else to do in a small town, eh? I wish Chris and I could skate as a pair with grace, but the best we can manage is him pushing me around the rink. We’re lucky if we don’t knock each other over
Kecia Adams says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 11:17am
I love ice skating, Marcy! I even took lessons in my 20s and was in a mini-ice capades sort of show.
I had a huge smile on my face the whole time. One of my favorite memories was skating with my daughters in a holiday open-air rink near the Castello Saint’Angelo in Rome. My girls know they can always get me to drop everything to go ice skating. 
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 9:00pm
I wish I was good enough on skates to take part in a mini ice capades. Even though I can’t do tricks, I love to skate too
It’s one of those things that makes me feel happy.
Alicia Street says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 11:52am
Wonderful post, Marcy! I love ice skating, too. Some of my best childhood memories are of ice skating with my father, who was quite good at it. Thanks for reminding me!
And, yes, there is something so universally harmonious about sharing a ‘stage’ with strangers all wearing these strange shoes and sliding around on ice.
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 9:07pm
Some of my best childhood memories are of skating too. My dad is a man of few words. He’s the kind of man who never tells his children that he loves them, but he shows them constantly in the things he did for us when we were little and the ways he still helps us out. It’s things like him teaching us to skate on the river and building the rink for my brother that I’ll remember long after he’s gone and treasure
Coleen Patrick says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 1:14pm
I have a great memory of skating on a pond that used to freeze up near my house in Indiana. We used to live there when I was a young teen. It was so much fun. I wrote a post months back of visiting that pond with my kids a few years ago–they fenced it in because it is now too dangerous. But I have my memories!!!
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 9:08pm
Why is it that so many things we enjoyed as kids are now considered too dangerous?
Hold on to those memories 
Prudence MacLeod says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 1:54pm
As a child I skated on the frozen ponds and rivers, and later at an arena with my kids, but it has been over thirty years since I was on skates. I do miss it sometimes.
Another great equalizer is the walking of the dog. Dogs don’t care about how you look, the color of your skin or the car you drive, they’ll either obey you or they won’t. Dogs give everybody some common ground and a topic of conversation.
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 9:11pm
You’re so right! People who own dogs can strike up a conversation even if they’re complete strangers and feel at ease because of that common ground.
Sheila Seabrook says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 5:14pm
You’re so right, Marcy. Ice skating is one of those joyful activities that brings people together. As a kid, we skated every Thursday and Sunday night. Awesome memories. Thanks for the great post!
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 9:11pm
You’re welcome
It seems like a lot of us have happy skating memories.
Tameri Etherton says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 5:31pm
I love ice skating, but alas, since my foot surgery, it’s one of the things that I physically cannot do. I take the kids every year to an outdoor ice rink at a local hotel and I think this might be their last year. My 21 year-old fell and trashed her knee and my son wasn’t keen on the cold. *sigh* It’s hard to get them excited about ice skating when the beach is beckoning.
That’s so sweet that your dad made a rink for your brother to practice and that you and your husband have ice skating as a common denominator. Little things like that make our lives all the richer.
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 9:15pm
I’m sorry you can’t go skating anymore. I think if my husband were given the choice he might take the beach over skating too, but since we live in Canada, the beaches are too cold to visit in winter
Kara says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 6:32pm
What a great tradition! I remember going to the ice rink when I was 3 to learn how to skate. I thought I wanted to be a hockey player until my mom found out how early practice was! And it’s just as well, because I would have hated to lose any teeth (is that a problem with female hockey players?).
I agree those memories and that history helps connect us to others in ways we might not have even thought about. Great post!
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 9:17pm
I thought I wanted to be a hockey player for a couple of months too, but my mom was wise enough to realize I only thought I wanted to play because my brother was playing and I was tired of sitting on the sidelines and feeling left out. I’m sure if female hockey players lose teeth as well, but I’d rather not find out through personal experience
Debra Eve | Later Bloomer says:
Thursday, January 5, 2012 at 8:27pm
Love that Holland painting, Marcy. I adored ice skating and took lessons when I was 8 or 9. Dreams of Peggy Fleming! So cool you had a backyard rink.
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 9:18pm
Having a backyard rink was perfect for inviting friends over. For a few years, everyone wanted to come to my house rather than going anywhere else
I’m glad someone recognized the picture was of Holland. I picked it because it wasn’t North America, and I thought it was a nice complement to how many places in the world enjoy skating.
Bridgette Booth says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 2:44pm
What lovely images! I have only three ice skating experiences – grew up in the South – so I’m a bit jealous of the idea of going ice skating every New Year’s.
As far as a little equalizer. . .I’d say a summer storm which knocks out the power across the parish or county. Everyone comes out of their house to talk about it, and no one can do anything about it.
Marcy Kennedy says:
Friday, January 6, 2012 at 9:20pm
We’ve had some storms like that, but we’re too far away from our neighbors to step outside and chat when we lose power. It is the big topic of conversation in our small town the next day though